Sometimes I feel like the oldest person in the universe who knows absolutely nothing about anything. But I don't say this in a defeated way, more in a musing and amused sort of manner.
My body is completely rebelling against me - I won't lament. What's the point? There are ups and downs in everything. Now is just a down. And hey, even if the ups never come back and my injuries never heal, well then that's ok, too.
I have a weird relationship with time. I feel like most of us do because it's so difficult to comprehend. Some days fly past as if in a race and some days go so slow it's like the last part of molasses being poured out of the jar. But, numerically and minute-wise, they're the same. It just doesn't make any sense. I have a weird relationship with change, too. Sometimes I want to embrace it and I love when routine is destroyed, vanquished by something fresh and seemingly spontaneous. But then, contrapuntally, change can seem a danger, a hazard to my carefully constructed haven of a world. It's difficult sometimes, to reconcile it all. To understand it, well, sometimes that just seems impossible.
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